math was okay,
couldn't do some initially but managed to come up with sth that seems to work to me, but dno if the marker will understand><
and no time to check cos i did too slowly haha..
nvm, hopefully S can liao!

gna start on 212 tonight then tml half day, then physics.
then monday morning jap and after jap, physics all the way till test.
then 212 allllllllllllllll the way.........
shit, doesn't sound like i can cover alot of 212><
GG X.X

and still got wedding dinner tml, dno if still can go):
wanna go though.. but i think i might have slacked so much such that i cannot afford to take any time off liao..
more like i spent too much time on math..
RAHH totally regret it.
but at least now i dn have to worry abt math at all, cos most prob S liao.
if U, i seriously can go kill myself):
212 DIE LEEEEEEEEE

HAPPY 6 MONTHS' ANNIVERSARY DEAR!! xDDD

wahahha damn happy today(:
had dinner with dear, at crystal jade!
we ordered this roti prata-like pancake which was quite nice,
the 'long beans' pickles are nice too!
and he ordered this 口水鸡 sth sth 拉面 while i got 鲜虾云吞拉面(:
hahaha bad choice on his part, the lamian was super spicy and i think they spam too much noodles, even for mine, esp when my soup was quite bland><
luckily we got drinks to go with them(:
and of cos! we ordered 福隆一口小笼包xDD
super nice((: but i dripped the soup out for my first one though):
haha ate till super full then we went arcade cos noise helps in digestion(:
we watched this guy play basketball, wah almost 100% accuracy man!
but sure it's train out one><
happy happy when the guy broke the record((:
then we went to play this new shooting game.
as ly's fren had blatantly put, my shooting skills sucks, so i chose t watch onlyxP
dear got A rank! muahahaha(:
and we both played bishibashi, his red button was spoiled and he still won me! O.o
sigh~ video games leave it to him ba, i'll take sudokus and word searches anyday(:

heh heh dear also gave me a prezzie(:
SHO SHWEEET(((: love itxD
is it possible to upload it here?

i feel bad that i din prepare anything for him..
but i'll make it up to him! somehow!(:

<3<3<3<3<3<3 and increasing!

i've been a really really bad gf for the past few weeks.
i've been throwing tantrums, and suddenly becoming gloomy and cold towards tingwei for no good reason, at least nth tt's reasonable.
i feel petty thinking back on those things):
i think today was the last straw for him,
he suddenly became quite cold towards me and honestly, i was scared, but not so much cos i was still feeling unhappy.
so, we had a talk(:
a v good talk, thrashing good talk.
he asked abt wad unhappiness i had with him.
and i wasn't too sure at first, but eventually, he got it out of me.
sharon..
he said i shouldn't compare myself with her, and she's totally out of his life alr, if he ever meets her on the street, they'll probly act like strangers to each other.
which i felt, was sad..
like you had sth gg on, then not-so-suddenly it's not there liao and you totally cut off all ties with each other.
somehow, it's this strong feeling, even if it's dislike, that makes me insecure ba, like somehow, he cnt let go.
but he assured me, that i dun have to worry abt her at all, that everything's over between them and tt there is NO NEED for comparison between us.
he doesn't do tt, and so shouldn't i.
he said sth that struck a chord in me, if i keep on being bothered abt her, and comparing myself with her, i may eventually become like her, behave like her.
and i dun wanna be compared to her in that way><
'i want a shumin so there's absolutely no need to compare!'
<3
to quote him,
'there is never a happy ending from being unhappy, so as proud economics students who are rational, we should always not become unhappy:)'
<33

insatiable wants.
am i being greedy?
or am i not given wad i'm entitled to?
zzz saying tt i'm entitled makes me feel like i'm wanting too much.
and that i dn have to spell out wad i want which essentially means no one will noe wad i want-.-
but i just feel sad whenever i think abt it so usually i avoid the thought altgt.
maybe once in awhile i NEED t feel this way, to appreciate things more when i dun.
ya tt's probly the reason for it.
... and i dn wanna talk abt it...

woots. it's 3.31am and it is actly quite noisy outside my hse!
must be pple celebrating hari raya.
just wanted to blog cos so nande tt i stay up till so late.
today's maf!
i was excited but dno why the excitement went off in the afternoon such tt by nightime, i was rly quite sian):
lalala it's over, hmm maybe next year dn come back for maf liao..
lol or just go with smugglers(:

island creamery butterscotch ice cream sucks.
melted island creamery butterscotch ice cream sucks even more):

had a rly rly insightful htht with my seniors at chalet ytd.
they said, btt you reach your 3rd/6th mth, you realise tt the 2 of you seem to have less and less things to say to each other.
and one thing you shld avoid doing,
looking at the relationship in the long run.
cos if the other party does sth tt irritates you and you think abt how it will continue to irritate you through the years down the road,
it gets harder for you to tolerate.
which i feel can be quite a useful advice.
one thing to bear in mind is tt,
you shld always think for the other party,
dn think for yourself only.
if both parties do things tt the other likes,
both parties will be happy, then the relationship will last.
and boyfriends hate for their girlfriends to 黏 them but at the same time,
dun wanna get to noe his friends.
they do have their own lives after all, and it's too demanding for the girls to expect their bfs to suit their way everytime.

sth quite shocking to me,
one senior mentioned tt he enjoys company of friends over company of girlfriend
which when i heard i was like O.o
even so, he still sticks it out with her.
though he faces lots and lots of probs with his girlfriend ever since last year when they first got tgt.
yet he has the ultimate patience and tolerance to accomodate to his gf, to talk it out with her.
i think he rly rly treasures his relationship(:

another thing tt this senior mentioned,
if you rly rly think tt the relationship cannot hold,
tt you just wanna stick it out cos it's your first relationship,
dun.
you should just let go,
thr's always time for you to find a better one out thr..

))))))))):
isabelle li din win female indiv gold medal!!
but she got gold though(:
hope the win doesn't go into her head like some other sportsmen..
looking forward to TT mixed comp!!

i'm supposed to be mugging for FTT but i cn't seem to start)=
i better pass it this time, or else my whole driving is GG-fied.

zzz supposed to go picnic ytd, but i totally slept through the whole day!
how piggy can i be?!
sigh~ hopefully i dn crash ever again..
and everytime is tw kena only...
i feel bad towards him)=

.................................................................
just wanna blog abt this..
dno if it's me being sensitive/petty
but i got upset when his mum called and he told her,
'i'm sending shar-shumin home.'
zzzz small mistake.
same one tt my mum makes sometimes when regina comes over t my house.
but i bet my bro nvr made tt mistake....
cos of tt, i felt abit zzz on sun and mon sigh~
today i suddenly started thinking abt how are we gna let 6F peeps and other HC pple noe about our relationship?
i hope by MAF they'll noe, cos i dun wanna feel restrained or like i'm hiding sth)=

is deleting her as a fren mean tt he cnt get over her?
maybe he din at tt pt of time, by now he shld have, he told me so.
i gta stop letting myself get so affected by it, and like so suddenly..
think abt happy happy stuff(:

sometimes i feel tt i'm quite immature,
expect pple to pay attention to me and yet,
i dn pay tt much attention to others.
tt's quite selfish of me):
when i'm down, thr are always pple ard to help me up, to cheer me up.
and my emo-ness are usually due to quite childish reasons too.
sometimes i wish tt i could grow up and mature.

i'm not a good girlfriend..
i can't console or cheer tw up over the phone or msn..
i just wish tt i could be thr with him instead..

woohoo! with great outings come great pics! xD visit fb for the photos ba!

wanted to go night cycling with tw but zzz we were too PIGGY.
we were supposed to go earlier and get the bikes first but i was hungry so we went to eat at HEI SUSHI first.
eh from here, it sounds like I'M the piggy one! ><
ya so in the end, we din get to night cycle)=
walked along the beach and took photos WITH flash
haha or else cnt see both of us:P
oh we took one of us without flash, can only see abit of our silhouette, quite cool actly(:

still stuck on you're beautiful songs!
esp without words/without saying((=
and now i'm regaining my voice, i can actly hum the tune! xD

lalalala
i'm addicted to you're beautiful OST!!!
xDD
but koreans songs are so hard to sing and memorise)=

zzzz ytd's snr camp was one of the worst ever.
morning kena muachi treatment at siloso beach and gta bathe liao.
then it rained and the wind was so so strong..
next amazing race was ok, except tt i perspired and we din get to bathe again till today at home)=
then next was the WORST.
fright night at ubin.
it wasn't so much abt it being scary but more abt its inconvenience.
EVERYTIME i go toilet, i nd company and nd to walk like almost 400m worth of road to get to the toilet.
and stupid me go and drink sugarcane for dinner, b4 gg into ubin.
then when i got t the campsite, i felt nj abit..
initially stl ok, then it felt worse, and i rly NEED TO GO...
then i think i over-忍, felt abit of cramps aft tt.
then aft tt i stl needed to go another 2 times.
and cos i'm not v close to many of them, not enough to drag them out of bed just to go toilet with me,
i totally 忍 till cnt tahan alr then go ask someone..
and it was cold and windy, i felt like dying ytd)=
third time i went, it was at wad, 5am in the morning? then i no choice but t find the only other person i actly noe and talk to, a GUY-.-
the thing is the toilet has no lightings at all, always need someone else there to pei to be safer.. then no choice lo, just go tgt.
i even considered gg alone! )=
i din take out the slping bag, just used it as a pillow but btt i came back from toilet, i was super cold, but i thought it's abit lang fei if i used it then when we're leaving at 6am.
so i shivered and tried to go back to slp lo.....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
and tt's not the worst thing.
the worst thing is knowing tt I HAVE TO GO BACK ANOTHER TIME.
and this time in the middle of the camp without a proper toilet to bathe or even brush teeth)=
-_______________________________________________________________________-

hmm had a rly good talk with tw today.
i was quite unhappy this whole day and i guessed it was obvious to him
so he asked during our trip home.
and i told him all that i was unhappy about..
as expected, i cried abit ))= but i rly felt much better afterwards,
like a huge stone lifted off my chest(=

he told me his side of the story,
and i sort of expected part of it cos i'd thought abt it too.
he said he prefers me to tell him whatever i feel straightaway,
and not wait till i sort out my thoughts haha.
he wants me to rant at him, hit him and even splash water at him =P
haha but i'll nvr do tt, abit too drama for me.
i shldn't make excuses for him and not talk to him abt things, he said.
haha and he told me 'graphically' how things shld be done LOL(=

when you put your hands tgt and cross your fingers,
the only pair of fingers you cannot separate is the pair of ring fingers,
tt's why you wear rings on those fingers.
tt's quite an amazing and somehow romantic idea hahaxP

i'm feeling so much better now(=
i'll rmb his and our promises definitely!((=

rah............
i realise i always say things tt hide my feelings inside.
somehow, i feel abit fake like i'm hiding my real self,
the selfish and petty self)=
this is bad,
bad for my heart, bad for my body, bad for my mind.
but good for others haha..
pple will think tt i'm actly tt nice, tt selfless.
ease their minds while i suffer zzz..
but i'm not all that.
i get sad and angry for no reason too.
haha i'm not gna say it's pms, last time was the last time i was gna say tt.
zzz is so much nicer to say then sianzz haha random.
hmm probly it's just me being too sensitive such tt i get all those bad feelings,
not gd not gd.
gta learn t look at the bigger picture and not focus on myself only!!
i feel zzz to noe how selfish i can be))=
i'm a bad girl..

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右

答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

~我知道 by2~

WOAH finally back from camp!!! ((=
it's a Sirius-ly crazy week!
met the Sirius peeps at pre-camp, thought they were abit too quiet.
tt thought din change on the first day of camp, too quiet!!
then things started changing aft field and dirty games((=
now all of them are like good frens talking abt the good times and stuff,
AND I CAN'T JOIN IN COS FB HATES ME)=
hope we have an outing soon, tt'll be the starting point to keeping them tgt even aft the camp.
KBOX KBOX!!!

ytd i made tingwei wait for 2 hrs for me))= cos i was so tired, when i crashed, i crashed for 4hrs straight!
i felt quite bad for tt, and he was quite angry over it.
i would be too))=
but after we talked abt it, he was okay le,
after all, he din wait for 2hrs just to be angry with me mah(=
we went to have lunch and he bought this super cool-looking black jacket, i like!((=
then we're off to PS to watch INCEPTION!!
it's a super cool movie!
a movie tt requires you to think and process wad's being said, then you'll understand it.
aft tt we went for dinner/supper at cafe cartel's.
i tried the chocolate cheese cake and the cheese taste is not tt strong, so not tt bad(=
we gorged ourselves full on bread with chicken soup haha!
after i reached home, my system just shut down,
i went to bed from 12 to 12!!
xDD
and zzz.. my thing came at night...
heng it din come during the camp, but it's stl quite unexpected:/

it was only ytd tt i realise how much i missed him haha, absence makes the heart grower fonder(=

i think it's quite weird being tgt with tw)=
like we actly used to call more often than now, more things to talk abt
and we also go out more.
but tt's probly cos we used to be so much more free.
sigh~
i feel like asking him to go find me aft my camp this week, but then i always have this feeling like i'm imposing on him?
like i dn wanna mafan him so i end up nvr asking)=
it's still abit strange between us i guess..
sometimes, we'll hold hands, i'll hook his arm (like i like to do with lynnie(:)
but it's not everytime, not like those couples who are totally comfortable with each other ie. not like when i hook lynnie everytimexD
hmm it takes time ba..
and characters of pple involved..
i think sometimes he can sense when i'm not feeling happy,
then i also sort of distance myself away from him..
zzz i dn like this abt myself!!
sigh and most of the time when i'm not happy, it's cos of him.. )=
being tgt with him cheers me up though(=
but somehow i feel like i want us to be closer, but we just can't.
i dno how to tell him though zzz..
haha heng, dn think he reads my blog, or noes tt it exists.

zzz he doesn't like smsing)= not smsing me at least... RAHH.

((: DZO is finally and officially over!!!! WAHAHAHAH
no more late nights on photoshop and gan chiong ernest breathing down my back!! xPP
hahah i can only say this here cos none of them noes my blogxD
ytd was the dzo bbq, quotes Lixuan,
"those who say they are coming ltr, are coming in the evening.
those who say they are coming in the evening, are coming at night!"
wahhahah i so agree man.
there was lots of food, booze, music, and girls ardxD
JK.
just not much music cos jiahe's netbook sucksxP
they keep niaoing him for tt la!
joan came up with this new idea (to me anw) of bbq-ing mushrooms with cheese.
i think the cheese part sounds good, but the mushroom....
i'd rather not have it.
AND THE CHALET IS TOTALLY FREE!!!!!
xDD
but then i only went ytd, not gg back anymore ZZzz..
8 beds, probly everyone can take a bed each haha.
but lidat, no chalet FEEL liaoxP
they played mj, monopoly deal (zz..) and watched Mr Bean's Holiday!
hahah i kept on thinking why Mr Bean is so stubborn,
he should learn to let go when needed, his mind is too one-track haha.
anw, i din stay till the booze is served so, TOO BAD )=
rly wanted to try bailey's sigh~

yay! this fri movie + saboteur!! xDD
hmm..

please do not be mistaken..
thr's NTH going on btw me and BFF.
argh, suddenly everyone is asking abt those pics, hate it.
but i noe you guys who actly read my blog wont ask la haha
so essentially i'm just rantingxP

lab sucks SUCKS
nth to do, dn even feel like gg anymore, if not for jingjing..
seriously.. i ask gy sth then she like agree agree,
in the end, she nvr do anything abt it-.-
like i asked her to help me learn nmr and the other equipment.
then she replied ok in sms, but nvr help at all-.-
it's jingjing who voluntarily teach me when i nvr even ask her!
wish tt she'd stay on aft yr4 t help me with my fyp..
but i think chem is not rly her forte la, she's better off doing policy making!
haha but maybe i can still psycho her into taking mastersxP

tml having first driving lesson,
hope everything will go well!!(:

ahhh sth monumental happened on wed, but i'm not gna say anything abt it in this post..

feeling the effects of PMS, post.
this time i can rly like FEEL it..
i'm more irritable, more forgetful and more emo):
bad bad.
i should close myself off for now.
luckily tml i'm staying home alone,
maybe watching some movies will help cheer me up..

how come i feel emptier now?
sth's wrong..
i'm afraid it's a one-sided thing..
or maybe it's just PMS zzz..

lalalalalala~~ nvr blog in a long long time!!
i should make blogging a habit(:
a self-reflection time(:
current location: desk outside lab at CBC building.
current feeling: tired and hungry but feeling quite satisfied with my life right now(:

i realise keeping a soft copy of your schedule helps to keep track of your appts and meetings.
i keep one on my lappie now, and i refer to it almost everyday!
next time i should change my hp to those smartphones then i can upload my schedule onto my hp!(:

oh shit, i forgot to bring my BTT letter to get my PDL ltr-.-
hopefully they have my results in their system............ zzz...

off to labb!!